I love when the supermarket sweet talks me.
WTF my mom just up and left right before dinner. What am I supposed to do now?
HAVE YOU EVER JUST REALLY WANTED TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE AND YOURE IN A MUTUAL FOLLOW WITH THEM AND YOU JUST KIND OF STARE AT THEIR URL LONGINGLY BEFORE JUST SLOWLY SCROLLING PAST BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT TO SEEM WEIRD
my doctor told me to eat more taco bell
well actually he said “less mcdonalds” but i’m pretty sure i know what he meant
Remember when I was temporarily blind and my mom took me shopping but I got lost in the parking lot and ended up confused and in a hole and she just took pictures instead of helping me
this was wild from start to finish
Am I too late to add a cute ghost to your dash?
This is what best friends are for. Taking pictures of you while you’re eating and sending them out to the hundreds of people they have on their snap chat.
Dear Lord! The guy I’ve had a crush on since elementary school just put a picture on facebook of him giving blood so it was just his forearm and DAMN he’s got some nice arms. Like the veins and shit. Talk about turned on.
men’s back muscles let you know that god is real
In preschool when I was 5, the boys bathroom had to get a ceiling repair so everyone had to use the girls bathroom and when I was in there some kid named Jimmy walked in.
And that was the first time I saw a penis
No, seriously…as a preschool teacher, this literally happens to me on a weekly basis
Says the guy from Ohio
His parents lived in Ohio. He lived in the moment.
my ascent into adulthood